I'm not a lemon...I just hide them!

I've come to the realization with the increase of weight throughout my life there has been an increase in the amount of true emotion I suppressed. While shedding pounds I have had to confront these deep lying emotions. I have to let go of the past, but in order to do this I must feel, label, and forgive. It's hard to forgive when almost all of those people who must be forgiven are not even aware that they need forgiveness. I have been stuck on this last idea. Do these people really need to know that I harbor resentment? I believe that forgiveness is about my letting go and not about people feeling punished. I am ready to let go... for myself rather than for anyone else. This is not always due to things done by me or them, but due to life in general. Life gives us all lemons. Some of us make lemonade. Some of us sell the lemons on the side of the road. Some of us eat the lemons til we're sick. Some of us, like me, hide the lemons anywhere we can find. I have lemons under my bed. I have lemons on the bottom of my closet. I have lemons everywhere. With each pound I lose I pull out some lemons and create something beautiful out of them. I've lost so much weight that I am now starting a batch of limoncello! Martini anyone? Before a lemon can be used, I must hold that lemon. I must slice it, smell it, taste it. Each lemon has a different taste, it has a different feeling, and it requires a new perspective from which to view it. I cannot deal with a childhood lemon without reverting back to that hurt child. I must let myself feel that lemon in the state of mind that it should have been dealt with in the first place. These lemons are also of different weight. I have a 50lb lemon hidden under my shirt. Even though I'm aware of it, I am not ready to cut into it just yet...and that's okay. I know that once I am ready to pull that lemon out it's going to make a hell of a lot of limoncello martinis!!! (260)