Is it a gift or an insult?

Have you ever known someone who has lost weight, and when they get down smaller than you they offer you their clothes? Sometimes, from the right friend, this is seen as a gift, and other times it is an insult. Take friend A: the day she got smaller than me she showed up at my doorstep with clothes in hand. I was then prompted to try on the clothes, which could be fun, but it was accompanied by comments like, "Wow. That looks really good on you. I could never fill it out all the way!" Is that supposed to be a compliment. Isn't this the same as "Wow, Fatty! You have all the fat that's needed to fill every inch of the fabric. I was never fat enough to do that." Now, some may say that I am jumping to conclusions, but that is the way comments such as these make me feel. That friend even went on to give me clothes that were too big for me (Yes, she was bigger than me at one time!) accompanied with comments like, "If you gain more weight that will look really cute on you!" Seriously?!? How can anyone take this in a good way? Then there is friend B: while trying to lose weight in the past I had a friend who was also trying to lose weight, and she was about three sizes below me at that time. She had gone through her clothes and invited me over to her house. She had healthy snacks and a movie that we were going to watch; it must be said that even though I'm getting healthy, snacks are always a good idea. Being fat is like being an alcoholic: your only one bite of a cupcake away from falling off the wagon. She started out by letting me know that she didn't want me to take what she was going to say in a bad way, but that she had some clothes that were my size and she thought I might want some of them. I had already lost some weight, so the clothes were definitely needed, and she made it a point to say things like, "That looks really good, but you'll probably only be able to wear it for a month at the rate that you're losing." Wasn't that nice? That is the way to do it! It's easy to see that Friend A gave insults, and Friend B gave gifts. The most surprising gift of all came from my sister. My family has been supportive in the past, but it always seemed as if they didn't truly believe that I could do it. It's not what they said ("Come on. You can have one piece of cake!"), but more the lack of support I have felt in the past; however, about a week or so ago my sister gave me two pairs of jeans that were practically brand new. She said that she knew I had been losing weight and she thought I might be able to use them because they were too big for her. Now, this normally could be considered an insult, but when you take into account the fact that the jeans are two sizes smaller than me it's a whole different story. My sister actually believes that I will continue to lose weight long enough to drop at least two sizes. Wow...that really means something. Now it will be my turn to give "gifts," and I need to make sure that I do it in a constructive way. I never want to turn into that bitchy, I-used-to-be-fat-but-now-I'm-skinny-and-better-than-you person. I don't want anyone to feel the way that I have, and sometimes still do. I know I don't have all the answers. What works for me may not work for you, so I will do my best not to become the know-it-all that drives everyone crazy either. Anyway, if you have clothes that you would like to "gift" to me, make sure that they are size 24 or below and that you pair them with a morale inspiring comment. After all, dieting is easier when you surround yourself with positive people, so if you have any Friend A's cut them out now. You'll feel a whole hell of a lot lighter.(283)