Is your child safe?

I would like to start this post by saying that I am not a doctor, nor a psychologist, but I do know about fat. If you have a young child who is overweight you have a major problem. I don't mean you have a problem on your hands. I mean that there is a major issue in your child's life and either you don't know who or what it is, or it's you. First, have your child checked out by a doctor. Have them do all the major tests so that you can find out if it is a physical or mental issue you're dealing with. Next I would look for any signs of abuse. Is your child left with anyone at all for long periods of time? How much do you know about their day care provider? Look for physical signs and emotional signs. You should know your child well enough to notice a change, if you don't then that might be part of the problem. Is your child sexualizing their game play? At one time I played strip tag with my friends when I was in 5th grade. My mother caught us and called us "silly." She asked who thought of the game and I told her I had...she just laughed. This was a sign. Are they playing dirty with their dolls or action figures? My dolls were dirty all the time, which was kind of funny to me looking back until I took a psychology class in college and found that this is also a warning sign. Now, sometimes this is natural, but again you should know your child. My stepmom (who I just call Mom) once told me that when I was a child I would sit in a drawn up position and just rock myself back and forth. She also told me that I used to daydream and they would really have to snap me out of it when they asked me a question. This is not normal. I don't care who you're child is, this is not normal. It could have been a signal that I was being sexually abused by the teenage son of my day care provider, but then again my rocking could have happened after the boy had been arrested for abusing a number of kids there. I never got the full story of what happened with him. I do remember going to court ordered psychology sessions, which I assume were used in court. I don't know if he went to jail. I don't even know his last name. I do remember he gave me my first french kiss when he rode me home on his bike once...I think I was about 4 or so. The truth is that fat is a barrier. It helps guard us from all the evils in the world, or that is how it feels. It's better to be fat and unappealing sexually then to be skinny and violated; however, many pedophiles are aware of this fact so they see obese children as an easy target. If someone can do it to us once, then they must be able to also. When we can't control anything else we can usually control the amount of food that goes in our bodies, which means we either become anorexic, bulimic, or fat. Nice choices there. I also know that when we feel abandoned food is there...food is always there. I can count on my peanut butter, honey, and banana sandwich, or my pint of Haagen-Dazs. I could never count on my mother. I could not count on my family. I could not count on men. There is a correlation between abuse, neglect, and obesity. If you can rule out physical ailments and sexual abuse then it is time to look at the type of life you provide for your child. Are you super controlling? Do you allow them to make any decisions for themselves? Do you sign them up for every type of activity you can find: dance, volleyball, violin lessons, girl/boy scouts, etc. Your child may be trying to defy you by eating, or they may be trying to make themselves feel like they have control in their own life. This can start very early, so it is important that you have a balanced relationship with your child and that you make their lives as stress free as possible. The last thing you need to check is the type of food that is available to your child. Do you eat fast food and feed it to your toddler? Do you make fruit and veggies a part of every meal? Do you buy fruit by the foot or apples? Do you make home made meals, or is boxed process foods like Hamburger Helper? Your child cannot protect themselves. It is your job. It is your job to make sure that they are never violated. It is your job not to control every aspect of who they are so that they have more to control than what they put in their mouth. It is your job to create a safe environment with open communication. If your child is fat, there is a reason. It is your job to find out what that reason is...no matter how painful it is for you or them. I will do anything I have to in order to never have to apologize to my child for allowing them to be put in harms way! Can you say the same thing? (269)