Monday, April 12, 2010
SCREW 280!
I have been told that when you write in all caps it means your angry, so yes, I'm angry! It wasn't long ago that I was happy I was in the 270's just a bit ago, but my happiness was fleeting as I quickly went back up to 280. I have since been stuck at 280. What the hell. I have been doing well. Okay, so just because Skinny Cow ice creams are in my calories doesn't mean I should have one every day, but every now and then I need a Skinny Cow. I have tried lowering my calories: 280. I have tried raising my calories: 280. I have walked more: 280. I have walked less: 280. I have hiked: 280! I have done almost everything I can think of only to wake up in the morning and weigh myself...a small glimmer of hope on my face as I think, "This will be the day!"...and then 2"freakin"80!?! I am in a competition. I need to get it together. I know that I should be happy with a 34 pound loss so far, but I'm not. I like a contestant on The Biggest Loser who loses 9 pounds in a week, yet is in tears because it wasn't a double digit. I wonder when this will stop. Will I become one of those dieters that is never satisfied??? Who am I kidding? I can't wait to meet goal weight so that I can eat a fattening meal without feeling guilty. I can't wait to be the girl that goes out to dinner, eats a beautifully fattening meal, and then goes home and gets into her swimsuit (maybe a bikini after my list of skin reducing surgeries are finished) and swims laps with her man or woman. I chose swimming because it's sexy and I figure it will lead to more exercise outside of the pool. With all of this said, here is what I vow to do: keep track of all of my calories, walk 3 miles on the treadmill at the gym every day this week (staying above 3.0), no Skinny Cows, and varying my choice of snacks daily. If this doesn't work I will be forming the "Forever 280 Club." It's times like this that I wish I was on a spin off of The Biggest Loser and Project Runway so that Bob could give me food tips (Extra Sugar Free gum anyone?), Tim Gun could tell me to "Make it Work," and Jillian could kick my butt in the gym. I'm tired of 280. I loathe 280. I despise the way it taunts me from the face of my masochistic scale. I want to dig a hole and bury it, but really I'm just going to kick it's freakin' ass!(280, Duh)
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I love it. I have been reading and supporting you in my spirit. Girl, keep it up. It falls off when you don't watch it every second. Keep it up. Vary your routine. Keep eating. Lots of water too! It's hard when you are a teacher because you can't eat the way you need to (no time) and if you drink water, you have to pee. But Forget everyone else! Eat that damn granola bar or orange in class! Tell them that you will be sick if you don't! lol Don't give up T. this is the hard part. When it starts to stay...You are awesome! And, btw, a bikini isn't meant for everyone. Tankinis are sexier! ; )
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